APPETITE FOR DISTRACTION

Someday, some one or other will reveal that he or she has in their respective possession a living, processing, healthy, human brain. There will be some controversy as to how a thing like this could come to occur. Never the less, it will be agreed upon that “the brain” should not be destroyed. Scientists will study and research teams will research. Popular culture will come to know and love this pinky flesh lump as a lasting cultural phenomenon known simply as “the brain.” “the brain” will surpass David Shwimmer in popularity in several unscientific rating surveys. Most parents will say they would trust “the brain” alone with their children for extended periods of time. And it will be discovered that “the brain” is capable of far more than even the world’s fasted supercomputers. “the brain” will be celebrated. “the brain” will be celebrity roasted. “the brain” will be exploited. And one day “the brain” will do something strange. “the brain” will pause for a moment. “the brain” will stop all of it’s braininess and someday someone in a white lab coat will walk into the secret underground laboratory where “the brain” lives and notice the brain wearing a pair of sunglasses and watching an episode of “Family Ties” through “the brain’s” glass jar home. Just as the man in the white lab coat finally gathers his thoughts enough to voice his astonishment, the pizza delivery guy will appear in the background.

silence.