Andrew Schneider the Rain Maker

So, when I have way too much work to do, I do what any level-headed, self-motivating freelancer would do…usually I start the client clock and pass the time procrastinating by coming up with funny voices, thinking about old girlfriends, and Googling my own name.  I’ve never been disappointed.  And now, I can say, it’s only going to be downhill from here.  I’ve hit the jackpot as far as I am concerned.  Meet Andrew Schneider, auditioning for something called Stonehenge in DC.  The kicker is I used to do this stuff all the time.  Audition on an awkward set, wear red turtlenecks, do funny things with my eyebrows, and get called at the end for time.  I must say though, I thought better about the white Reebok’s when I left my hotel for the theatre the morning of the audition.


I have a dream of contacting all the Andrew Schneider’s that I can and getting us all together and having us do the dance to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” or something like that.  Afterwards we’d all stand around and talk about it.  Then we’d all get in our Ford Tauruses and drive home, maybe stopping in New Rochelle for some Gas Station Cappucino or the outlet mall for a new pair of stonewashed jeans.